Okay so... all the shit this summer... all the shit going back to april... I want to put it behind me... i WANT to move on... I guess i just want my life back... I know I can be emo, a bitch, a brat... WHATEVER else people have to say about me.... more importantly i know who I AM. I know i've made mistakes these last three months and I know i have to own up to them at some point... I know there is no going back to the way my life was... I've lost the respect of the people i once held dear, lost what family was to me. I can sit and piss and moan about it all i want but it wont' change the fact that those things i cherished are gone. Yeah i'm doing what i've always done... complain when life gets shitty but hey who doesn't do that? who isn't bummed out or pissed off when life doesn't go their way? At the end of the day I'll find out who really care about me and who i really care about. The only thing I'll regret is how the things i wanted to work out so badly it made my heart break... didn't really work out.... Life is kinda funny like that i guess.. you realize things about yourself that you didn't see before.

Can i really make amends for my mistakes? I really hope someday i can...